One _____ at a Time: Cowboys and Astronauts

I hooked up with a group of loner triathletes this weekend to ride the famous Rabbit Hash route-- about 80-90 miles from Hyde Park (Cincinnati), Ohio to Rabbit Hash, Kentucky. Talk about a ride of extremes! From swanky urban couture, through blighted urban decay, to pristine parks and vistas, past ex-urbia mcmansion sprawl, industrial parks, then finally out to lush rolling hills, hill billies, and... my favorite mark of an awesome bike ride-- retired farm equipment. That's when you know it's good-- YEEHAW!


Rabbit Hash general store sells "potions and notions" and is a popular destination for cyclists from all over. They're nice people who talk twangy, have barn dances, and have stubborn opinions about global climate change and politicians.

Here's the bustling river metropolis known as Rabbit Hash, Kentucky. The mayor is a bitch...literally, a female dog.

For three years, Mary Lou, the border collie mayor, runs the world's best pit stop for cyclists. Her campaign is financed through some hairy sources.

PERFORMANCE
I rode like a champ, attacking hills, bridging packs, taking monster pulls at the front of pacelines, catching up after all my bazillion pee stops. My nutrition was clutch but needs improvement. I packed 50 dates (40-60 calories each ~ 2000) and 70 oz of water, and 15 oz of celery juice. The celery juice was for electrolytes (anti-cramping). It worked like a charm, while it lasted. I refilled my three water bottles at Rabbit Hash. I finished the dates at about mile 70, with 20 miles to go. That's when I hit a wall and had to beg someone for a Gu. I felt better immediately. It pepped me up, but I was still beginning to cramp. In the future, I need to take in more electrolytes. Some of the veteran Ironmans on the ride swore by SaltStick capsules. I'm not against taking salt capsules-- they could be vital for safety. But I want to continue to experiment with celery and coconut water, which I love so far.

Raw Coconut Water
20oz water bottle = 3-4 coconuts
218.9 mg calcium
228 mg magnesium
182 mg phosphorus
2280 mg potassium
957 mg sodium
(+ hydration!)

SaltStick
1 capsule (to be taken every 30-60 minutes)
216 mg sodium
63 mg potassium
11 mg magnesium
22 mg calcium
(where's the beef?)

If they weren't such a pain in the ass to buy, prepare, and clean up, it would be a no-brainer. Even though I hate celery juice at home, it tastes like rapture on a long ride. But I'd be nuts for coconuts at home or on the bike.

Electrolytes were so important to the wildlife of pre-historic Rabbit Hash (12,000 years ago), that nearby, at the famous Big Bone Lick State Park, there is a repository of mastodon bones, sloth bones and gargantuan bones of all types from creatures lured to the salt springs. The behemoths needed calcium, sodium, potassium, and magnesium too!

I always try to pay attention to the way the other riders and mastodons in a group are eating and hydrating. It's obvious why some of the better riders fall off the back and wonder why. I'm actually scared of how fast and far they could go if they actually figured out the power of calories. It also amazes me how infrequently they go for their water bottle. Almost always, they only have one or two 20oz bottles on their bike when they should be consuming all 40 oz per hour! On a 4-5 hour ride, that's 10 bottles worth!

WHAT DO COWBOYS ASTRONAUTS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?
Rabbit Hash has a bunch of cowboy-types-- swaggery and self-reliant. Many live in the illusion of an open and infinite system. The rolling hills and prairies extend forever in inexhaustible beauty. "Do people really think they are that significant and powerful to mess up the good Lord’s finest gift to us folks…this entire planet earth?" (-Herb, Rabbit Hash blogger). Of course, we don't think you, Herb, could mess up the entire planet Earth on your own. It's true, I feel sorry that you have to wear sunglasses at night to keep the glare of the casinos out of your view of the Milky Way--that is truly tragic. But, you've perfectly underscored the famous "tragedy of the commons." Every person acting in their own self-interest (a capitalistic virtue), enjoys their integer benefit, for the expense of a fractional tax distributed toward everyone's "ownership" on a limited resource.

THE TROUBLE WITH COMMONS- Let's say we all let our free range cattle graze on a prairie of finite acreage. Then, I get the enterprising idea that, "surely there is enough land to support my one additional cow. It doesn't hurt anyone." But that's exactly what every intelligent neighbor thinks too. Eventually we all privately start to notice irreversible erosion of topsoil, poopifying at the creek, and grasses are being eaten faster than they can grow. We don't say to ourselves, "Well, gosh, I should reduce my number of cattle, so the prairie will be there for future generations." In fact, the vanishing commons is an added incentive to put more cattle on the prairie faster! It's like being at a sporting event and having to stand to see better since everyone below you stood. Then you have to to tip-toe since everyone below you tip-toed. We're all getting tired and we can see no better. We're hoping for a "green technology" that will enable super-tip-toeing.

And that's exactly how we hurt the Earth, by acting like it's too big to mess up, presuming that God is so generous that she won't allow us the freedom to gunk up. You're probably right, the Earth will survive; it's the casinos that will bonk. And you, Herb, may be the last one standing.

ASTRONAUTS
Astronauts, on the other hand, live in a closed system with their garbage. They poop into vacuum cleaners, carry their rations of food and water into space, and have a clearly defined boundary within which they live, beyond which they die. They are forced to live with their own pollution and flatulence. They live in a land of extreme consideration for the commons. Is it natural? No. Is it necessary? Inside a school bus in space, yes. So when does a school bus in space become a planet? They are no different, except in complexity and age.

I'm hopeful, that in our planet of abundant photosynthesis and fungus, there's got to be some middle ground between the myopia of the cowboy and the prison cell of the astronaut. I think it's called permaculture and I think Anastasia knew what she was talking about.

I fear the mathematical and biological question of what is a sustainable scale will be trumped in every committee by the socio-economic question of what is an "acceptable" scale...usually hi-jacked by the person(s) with the most power and the least inclination toward justice, welfare, and the 7th generation.

So, for now, I will continue to search for ways to kick the man in the balls, ride my bike to beautiful places like Rabbit Hash, and build my domain.