One _____ at a Time: Biking to Work

I've been meaning to start biking the eight miles to work everyday, but I've always got a good excuse not to. The past two weeks, I shot 3-for-10-- it's a start!

Now that construction and holiday traffic are everywhere, I can beat my average car commute time pretty easily. Door to door, it takes about 30 minutes there (downhill) and about 40 minutes up the hill home.

I've also met a bunch of friendly commuters (more women than men), and now I'm convinced that if you can transport frozen sperm on a bike, then you can transport anything and anyone. My problem is that I've always been able to transport frozen sperm-- it's the non-frozen kind that I need help with.

Sperm bike transports frozen sperm around Copenhagen. Is that a frozen yogurt store?

So I went into Element Cycles for a consultation with my buddy Brett. He's the kind of guy who thrives all winter long, riding in the snow. I knew he would have all kinds of handy advice for not ending up frostbitten. "Basically, it's as simple as keeping your face, hands and feet warm. Then you should be fine. And if you ride in your small chain-ring, you'll enjoy the scenery more and not end up all sweaty and stinky." I should have asked for a guarantee about that stinky part. But so far, he's been right.

I guess the inner-triathlete in me was disappointed that I didn't need to throw excessive money at hi-tech gizmos that offer marginal improvements. So, I convinced Brett to recommend a USB-rechargeable head lamp. It attaches and detaches easily and it has an 8 hour battery life. I use this on the front handlbars, while I have tons of $3.99 red flashing clip-on lights lying around the house from years of running group swag. I make a point to use multiple flashing lights on my rear so drivers can gauge their distance and approach speed better.

Urban 180 LED head lamp

What the sperm bike has that I don't is a fender. That was this week's harshest lesson. It was drizzling when I left home at 7am last Thursday. And by the time I made it to work, the tush of my khakis had been sprayed black by my back tire. The reverse-skunk look was a big hit with my office mates and clients-- embarrassing! Even more embarrassing-- fenders. I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to take that leap.

The other harsh lesson I learned is that cotton undies just don't dry. If you like sitting on wet smelly sponges all day long, then cotton undies are the apparel for you. "Riding Comanche" is not the fix-all you've grown up thinking it is, either.

I decided to tackle this problem from a non-sporty angle-- seeking the consult of the hippiest person I could think of-- Dan Korman, owner of Park + Vine, the green general store near my office. Dan doesn't own a car nor spandex and always wears flannel, so you know he's legit. I thought for sure, he would be selling some kind of fair trade water proof hemp coated flannel knickers at least. Nope. Dan's simple advice, "I don't really wear anything special-- just utilitarian." Thanks for tearing down my excuses, Dan!

I'm still honing in on my ideal routine. But having a routine is probably THE most important factor in whether or not I ride to work. If my tooth brush starts on the right side of the sink rather than the left, my whole routine tailspins into defcon 6 crisis mode and I end up driving. I'm like Rainman, and I need my K-mart underwear, dammit! Whether I ride in regular undies or bike shorts under my pants I simply have to put on a fresh pair once I get to the office. I'm wondering why I'm so sweaty if the ride is downhill in the cold during my off-season. Balance is the king I'm still looking for, so if you ever find someone in your attic that looks like this, you'll know I've taken the commute to work too seriously.