One _____ at a Time: My Dream is Busy Manifesting Stuff

Part Uno
One week from race day, with my taper finally upon me, I thought this would be a good break for a little reflection on how my project has been coming. Last July, I dreamed into the universe a micro-sperm of a goal-- to become a professional-local-raw-vegan-foodie-entrepreneur-stickin'-it-to-the-man-triathlete-neighbor-mischief-maker-lover-energy-sorcerer.
(Read my "In Case You Forgot" blog entry for a reminder)

My dream spermed upward and outward in every direction through the cosmos, squeezing between distant galaxies, amidst other planets and cultures, mingling with the residue of God's very own dream. After all, what is the physical world at all but a manifestation held in thought, begun in the dream of God? Whether we believe in manifestation or not, we are busy creating our own realities. So, what kinds of creations have my thoughts lent themselves to? Have they been powerful and deliberate enough?

As a wise friend once asked me,

"If you did believe in manifestation, Chris, can you tell me what you would be trying to manifest?"

COFFEE DIVORCE
I don't know how much money I was spending on coffee 1.5 years ago, but I frequently spent my last pennies of loose change from the couch cushions. What someone spends their last dollar on reveals where their passion (ahem...addiction) is. Breaking that addiction may be the single-most important achievement of this project. Divorcing my coffee and divorcing my spouse was almost a buy one get one free deal. I kinda thought this crucible of suffering would carry a lot more emotional fallout than there was, but I'm still happily married and it's absolutely been a non-issue since week two. All it took was green smoothies and a vacation with friends. Don't get me wrong, coffee is amazing. I'd marry it again in a second. But for me, it was fatal attraction. Why $ubsidize a habit that reinforces other unhealthy habits (over-working, under-sleeping, non-energizing food choices)?

To leverage a system poorly, you can fiddle with the numbers, i.e. "drinking less coffee" or generically "being more better". This is where 99% of people spend 99% of their time trying to leverage systems, ineffectually. But to leverage a system successfully, you must address the feedback loops, both limiting feedback loops and reinforcing feedback loops. Systems can be gobbled up or eclipsed by bigger systems with stronger attractors, i.e. new paradigms, better stories, meta-awareness. So, you see, the system once called "Chris feeling anxious and tired about feeling anxious and tired" was all along just a wimpy SYSTEM with some powerful feeback loops that needed to get nuked!

Make love and green smoothies, not coffee.

VICTORY
I feel like I have finally found relief from a depression that has lasted at least a decade! For me, this has made everything worthwhile and I could declare this project case-closed. But why stop here? I say, success to the successful and winnings to the winners! I'm talking about winning races, baby... saving the planet... making love in an orange grove... and orchestrating some community-wide kick-em-in-the-dickenomics!

ENTREPRENEURING
Emotiv, my energy consulting biz, has been mothballed...for now...waiting for it's next metamorphosis. I know, I know. It sucks. But it also doesn't suck one bit. I took a part time job with my biggest client, a local architecture firm, called Sol design + consulting.

I get to work in Over The Rhine, doing similar work and the part-time gig has blossomed to full-time and sometimes overtime. I enjoy the projects, but it's the teamwork that is the best. Having a team is a radical departure from my Emotiv work. Isn't it beautiful in soccer when a couple of players can string together quick combinations and give-and-go passes? That's just not achievable when you're an isolated dude in a truck wearing all the hats.

Furthermore, I think my followership skills are more refined than my leadership skills. I am pretty darn good at being Susie's towel boy for Studio S. She's an excellent entrepreneur and, for now, I can get my biznasty kicks vicariously through her. If ever I get nostalgic for being a business owner, all I have to do is play around with an Excel spreadsheet (one of my naughty vices).

TRIATHLON-- WINNING MY FIRST RACE
Now, here's where my dreaming needs to become more precise-- I want to win races LEGITIMATELY. I truly had a good showing at the East Fork olympic triathlon last month, but I accidentally cheated my way to overall victory by cutting the bike portion short by 12%. I can tell that I am getting faster and have more endurance, but I have not prioritized scheduling races nor following rules or programs, which, note to self, will be more and more necessary. May's half Ironman was a big opportunity, but I was recovering from my ankle injury. Next week will be the full monty in Madison, Wisconsin, where I hope to let it all out, and be crazy fast. I'm sorry, I probably won't win this one in any way, shape, or form, but every race is both a stand-alone celebration and a training day. Every one of them hurts so good, too.

Where are all of you slow pokes, following the actual course?

This close to the race, I find it difficult to project a specific finish time. It's going to be a damn tough day, where I'll really see what I'm made of, how well I've trained, how I've managed my nutrition and recovery. There is just no hiding. No more theory. It may take me all 17 hours. Or I could pull it all together and go under 10 hours. I just don't know. I'm quite afraid-- afraid that if I don't do well, it undermines my project and the fundamentals of my dream of qualifying for the world championships in Kona, Hawaii. Then I realize how stupid this is-- as if Chris Dwyer could single-handedly prove that fruits and vegetables and alternative energy are futile.

But seriously, I'm afraid that the outcome depends too much on forces outside of myself, beyond my OCD's reach. And I'm simultaneously afraid that it depends entirely upon me, upon my alone-ness, and that I'll have to spelunk the dark and scary pit of despair. This must be my No. 1 enneagram personality type running amok.

Ouch, this is fun!...?

The thrill of crossing that finish line, though, is the most uplifting moments you could ever imagine in a lifetime. I promise that by the time it's over, I'm going to whip out my inner wolf-pack, octopus, and shrieking eels, and it's all going to be worth it.

LOCAL RAW ORGANIC FREE FOODIE
Not 100% local. Not 100% raw. Not 100% organic. Not even 100% food. Close to 0% free. But I'm making progress on them all.

Unfortunately, last winter, I lost my sponsor, Paradise Found, who was providing me with a weekly delivery of fresh local organic produce. They went out of the food delivery business. The good news is that they were having a hard time competing with several other start-up produce delivery companies. So, at least it validates the market for fresh, local, organic nutrition. Boo-ya! Best of luck to them in their new ventures (tours to small Russian farms called dachniks).

While my brother, Matti, was working on his organic farm, he taught me about scales of possibility. How much space, water, soil, labor, etc are required to grow ripe, organic, tasty, fruits and veggies?

To give you an example of Matti's work, take a look at him selling his primo goods at the farmers market.

If we look at the left hand side of the table, we see 4 quarts of strawberries, 10 pints of blueberries, and 10 pints of grape tomatoes. A "normal" farmers market shopper might buy, what, one of each? How long would this much food last?...the weekend?...one day if they have a family?... a week if they are the standard American? Matti showed that 1/2 acre of these babies can provide enough food to sell $800 worth every Saturday morning. That's pretty darn good!

For fun, I added up all the calories and nutrients of EVERYTHING in the blue containers. Here's what I found:

All the food in the blue containers would only give you ~3000 calories. On a typical day, that's how much produce I eat before dinner. And while protein is only 7% of these total calories, it's still 76grams, beloved skeptics!

Matti even showed me how to eat cat tails. This was a novelty, like a deep fried twinkie at the state fair-- interesting more than delicious. It tasted starchy, like a cold boiled potato. But I don't quite feel called to wade in the swamps harvesting.

Matti, hunting cage free cat tails.

Now that he's come home, I can't wait to do more experimentation in the back yard with him. I still don't know the limits of my goal, but for now, I feel quite justified by my tropical fruit outsourcing and import, despite the transportation footprint.

Freshly harvested organic dates are back in season!

Another food/race experiment is the date-o-rade I'll be making and drinking during next Sunday's race. For each half of the 112 mile bike leg, I plan on carrying two water bottles that are filled with 1000 calories each of date juice. It's made by soaking dates in water for two days, and then straining the fiber out. It becomes a rich, syrupy, high octane fuel that doesn't have any gelling agents like the goo on the race course. That's approximately one date per mile on the bike. I'll also make some for the run portion, but I haven't figured out the logistics of carrying it and keeping it from fermenting.

To Be Continued...

Stay tuned to Part Dos
...which I'm under no obligation to ever write.

MISCHIEF-MAKING & NEIGHBORING