One _____ at a Time: Burning River 100 Mile Trail Run Race (Support) Report

Despite what Lionel Richie says, very few things in life are actually as fun as your expectations when you have to do them "all night long." Chaffing is just mother nature's limiter to most of those activities. But who knew I'd have so much fun running all night long through the woods in Akron, Ohio? It was kind of a belated birthday present to myself.

I had the good fortune this past weekend of crewing my friend Lee Ann's epic epicness-- the famous Burning River 100. It's a 100 mile foot race amidst the gorgeous Cuyahoga Valley National Park.

Lee Ann being rediculously amazing on a bench in Akron. Change those socks, girl.

Lee Ann was amazing! She smashed her former 50 mile PR by an hour! Then she went on to run an additional 50 miles, finishing in about 26 hours with a smile on her face the whole time except for about 3 episodes of mild delirium. My theory is that it was induced by huge vertical ascents after she struggled to put food down through a couple of aid stations. In these rare instances--God bless Coke!

I paced LA from about mile 53 to 63. But I accidentally lost track of the course and we did an extra 2 miles trying to find our way back. I felt so bad. Apparently, we weren't the only ones off course, so I modified the course signage a bit (which was otherwise perfect). Then I took a break while Beth paced LA from about 63-73. Then I was back on duty from mile 73-93. I tallied about 32 miles, which is the farthest I've ever gone in a day! (After reading Ultramarathon Man, I was inspired to run 30 miles on my 30th birthday. That never happened because my training majorly lapsed while helping Susie open our training facility-- which is pretty darn ironic).

Raw Food Experiments Gone Wrong
I'm a firm believer that it's better to run between poops than walk between barfs. The Thursday before the race, I went over to Lee Ann's house to deliver the my special needs bag, filled with all my raw diva nutrition needs. I blended about 3000 calories of date-o-rade. As a backup, I also gave her some Larabars, which are basically date bars with nuts or coconut. They're a pretty pure backup, but the high nut content can bother my belly when running (not so much when cycling). So as a backup-backup, I packed a bunch of PowerBar Gels. These are the only gels that I haven't barfed on. Still, date-o-rade was my first choice despite the high fiber content. I figured it's what I'm used to and it's been amazing for training.

Each water bottle has about 500 calories of date-o-rade-- blended dates + water. Eating cat meat is a last result on race day.

Larabars are my backup nutrition plan. Gels are backup-backup. The bottle in front has SaltStix, which I'm still experimenting with as a source of electrolytes.

Lee Ann looking good at the ~60 mile aid station in the middle of the woods. The volunteers were so awesome-- their tent was decorated in Mardi Gras spirit. Luckily they had every food option under the sun.

Once the sun set, it got dark, difficult, and even cold. But that's where the conversations got juicy!

Sunset was rockin' at this giant hill into and out of the woods. Families gathered and s'mored as they cheered on their loved ones. The pictures sucks because my water bottle spilled all over my camera phone. Sorry.

Here's an award winning pic I took in the deep woods. It was that scary without head lamps. I brought extra batteries for this very reason, which luckily weren't used. As you can imagine, the stars were beautiful company.

The forest was sooo peaceful...but also pretty terrifying. I don't know how any of those runners made it through the course alone. We passed a ton of lonely, hobbling dudes. Lee Ann didn't get passed once during the night, except maybe at aid stations where she would change her socks and shirt every time and shower her fans with graciousness and enthusiasm. Is this woman fo' real?!

When we came to the first aid station with one of my date-o-rade bottles waiting, I was so excited. Apparently, leaving raw fruity drinks unrefrigerated or in the sun for a few days is an excellent way to make alcohol. Wow! I wish I would have known about this in high school. My dates turned to pungent fermented sludge. I almost barfed when I tried it.

So, that's when I had a minor panic attack. I needed dinner(s), man, not just a mid-race snack. Thank goodness the aid stations supported pacers just as if they were racers. They had EVERYTHING-- oranges and grapes, which I ate a billion of, bananas, which were not ripe so I didn't eat. They had boiled potatoes, which were absolute money. I had about 30 oz of Coke. They also had vegan mashed potatoes and vegan mac & cheese, which I deep throated like I was a Cracker Barrel-regular. God knows what was in the "mac & cheese"-- in the moment, it was bliss, but for the rest of the night, I had terrible heart burn. From then on, I could only put down boiled potatoes, cola, and gel.

The run took most of the night and included a lot of walking because, as you can imagine, people don't run that fast over roots and rocks in the dark after 75 miles. Still, Lee Ann ran every single flat section without hazards. We had to walk most uphills, all muddy spots, all creek crossings, all trecherous downhills, and any section where we were eating.

For the first time in my running career, I chaffed and I chaffed hard. I always expected it to happen on my nipples, like those "wounded soldiers" you see in marathons, but I wasn't so lucky. It was down south.

Lori, was a sweetheart-- Lee Ann's one-woman medical department. She concocted a soothing balm of Preparation H, hydro-cortizone, and vaseline (if I remember correctly). I call it the H-bomb and felt like my butt swallowed a Red Hot and a sleeping pill at the same time. It totally took the pain away and added a bit of lubricated efficiency. YUM!

Unfortunately, I was not able to see Lee Ann cross the finish line. That honor belonged to Lee Ann's dear Friend Jen, who I met just briefly at mile 93 at 5am. I was toast, anyway.

Before I passed out, I drove south 30 miles to Lodi, Ohio, where I was barely able to greet the rising sun and then crash on the couch where I was surfing. It was easily one of the best nights of my life. When I woke up, I was happy to see that I made it safely to my brother's organic, bio-dynamic, off-the-grid farm...but that's another story for another blog for another day.